coffee talk

discuss amongst ya-selves…. 

  

RHOBH: 

Carlton continues to disgust me every moment she is on the screen
{but I applaud Bravo for their incredible casting.} 
Each Coffee Talk I'm mortified to even be posting photos and talking about what they showed her doing on the television! 

The Sex  Adult Room. 

seriously???!!!????? 

At the sex adult store with her mother in law. 

with her MOTHER IN LAW?

her mother in law!!!! 

oh my lord…… I just can't. 

Does she know THE WORLD and eventually HER CHILDREN are going to see this? 

on WWHL {with my boyfriend, Andy Cohen}, she laughed and laughed about being kicked off of a commercial flight for fighting with a passenger.

She is possibly the more repulsive human being ever. 

Brandy just looks awful this season.  Awful.

so much botox and far too much lip plumpers. 

and my goodness does that girl need to some anger management classes. 

she has serious issues that go much further than a horrid potty mouth. 

Her and Carlton are neck and neck with the cursing. 
I love a perfectly dropped f-bomb as much as the next guy, but when you say it ever other word, doesn't it completely lose its appeal? 

such a stupid line, carlton.  it doesn't even make sense. 

Kanye spent a small fortune on the world's ugliest handbag for Kim. 

quit trying to dress like olivia pope in all neutrals, Kim.
it isn't working. 

And, another slap in the face, farrah abraham beat her for the most googled person in 2013.

hahahaha.  you know that must be killing her. 

The Bachelor.  

Oh it's just going to be so, so good.  

A few ladies to touch on from the first episode: 

Amy L looks exactly like a pre-insanity Amanda Bynes.

and OH MY GOD THAT OUTFIT.

you should be kicked off the show for that top alone, but I can't wait to see what the hell you wear this season based on this ensemble choice, so for that I will let you stay. 

The Massage Therapist

bat-sheyot crazy.  she enjoys giving massages way too much.

and those bangs.  
and those crazy eyes. 
ahhhhh. 

Clare, the girl who stepped out of the limo with a pregnant belly, should be disqualified immediately. 

Dear producers, please stop having "making an ass of oneself" a pre-requisite to be on the show.  Something tells me she is partially normal and that this wasn't entirely her idea.  But still, you move to the bottom of the list for doing that. 

Next: Kylie is an interior designer.

Something tells me I would not hire her for her services.  They say redheads should be careful wearing pink/red, but girls with horrifying pink hair should really not wear pink sparkly ball gowns. 

it makes us sad to look at too, Kylie. 

In her defense, apparently "the producers" told her to dye her hair and told her to wear a pink dress.

I'm having a hard time deciphering who to put the blame on - the women or the producers.  

Considering Kylie went running up to Juan Pablo for a rose when he said someone else's name, I'm blaming these horrible decisions on you Kylie. 

awkward. 

But touché for the entertainment as always ABC. 

He is super into the lawyer, Andi.

and I don't blame him - she is a bombshell. 

dear amanda bynes, THIS is an acceptable top to wear with white jeans. 

Plus, her favorite TV show is Scandal, so obviously she gets an A in my book. 

I think this season had the best looking group of overall girls - Juan Pablo is lucky as hell. (I'm already sick of the way to properly pronounce his name…. it takes soooo much effort). 

And of course, Lauren H.

The winner of The Most Unstable of the evening. 

and every week is always a seeeeeeerious competition for Most Unstable.

I don't know about you, but after an epic break-up, I would love for millions of people to watch me humiliate myself and get rejected for again. 

What part of her thought any of this was a good idea?

Less than a year ago you are engaged and get dumped, you cry about it constantly, but you are SO ready to move on. 

Staring at your engagement ring and crying in your interview was a great sign of closure. 

Crying to the other women when you hadn't had your one-on-onetime showed you were so mature and ready for wife and mother status.

Crying to a man you have spoken 5 words to about your ex-fiance and his daughter and how you were ready to be said wife and mother REALLY shows you know how to get a man to fall head over heels. 

I am actually truly terrified for her current mental state after Monday's episode aired. 

Tied for best employment status:

Free Spirit

and Dog Lover.

After episode 1, I think we all are feeling much better about ourselves. 

{pat on back}

In former Bachelor news, Emily Maynard is engaged to…..
 a guy we've never heard of who she's been dating for Lord knows how long.

{via} 

She is so freaking gorgeous and seems so sweet, but what is wrong with this girl?  If you've been engaged multiple times in the last 2 years, maybe date someone for a few months before having your daughter call him daddy.  Is that really so much to ask? 

demi moore continues to rob the cradle…. but she's taking it up a notch this time.

she is out and about with her 27 year old boyfriend.  she is 51.

{via} 

i'm sorry, but no.  
there's "cougar", and then there's disgusting and clearly not interested in you except to be a sugar mama.

she's a dumbass.

jackhole of the week:

{via}

go away kris jenner.
I feel like the jackhole of the week is always a kardashian or related to the kardashians in some way.
coincidence?? 
and how is another season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians starting this month? 
 Is there a single, solitary day they aren't filming? 

A show that I am always happy to see a new season of: Real Housewives of course.



it's gonna be goooood. 

again, I apologize for all typos and sentences that don't make sense.  way too tired when I wrote this. 

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