discuss amongst ya-selves....
Forget the anniversary of Will + Kate this week,
J SIMPS HAD A BABY.
Suri's Burn Book took the words right out of my mouth:
Congratulations, Maxwell Drew Johnson, and good luck with the rest. At least you aren’t inside Jessica Simpson anymore.
Nineteen months of pregnancy and all she has to show for it is a nine-pound, thirteen-ounce baby girl with the name of a middle-aged man.
And if you refer to my last coffee talk, I guessed the date. What do I win? Oh wait... we all win because that baby is finally out. Good Lord.
Congratulations Jessica, you succeeded in getting as much attention as humanly possible for being pregnant. You also can remain a celebrity because you named your child something no normal person would name a baby GIRL. and even better: you will be calling her Maxi.
as if that poor child didn't have it bad enough.
One more hilarious addition to this: Joe Simpson.
Of course the minister is just overjoyed that his divorced daughter got pregnant and had a child out of wedlock. Anything to make more bucks off of your daughters though, Joe. I'm shocked he didn't make more comments on her breasts while she was pregnant?
I had completely forgotten about Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield dating until I saw pictures of them in NYC with his nieces.
could they be any damn cuter? Apparently they moved in together last month too!
Watch What Happens Live is seriously one of the greatest shows on television, if not THE greatest. Every night I get all excited to climb into bed with my tea and laugh my ass off with Andy. But imagine my surprise when I turned it on this week and saw a horrible purple-grey haired be-yotch sitting next him.
come on Andy.... you have REAL celebrities on WWHL, like housewives, Dancing With the Stars Contestants, and Kathleen Turner for Christ's sake! Kelly???? The girl who moved to America when she was how old and her fake British accent gets stronger and stronger every year??
I could barely stomach watching it.
Ugh.
I seriously can't wait for Andy Cohen's book to come out next week!
I will be devouring this immediately. So excited to read it.
This isn't very Coffee Talky, but my favorites from The White House Correspondents Dinner:
There has been all this talk about Britney being an X-Factor judge, which I was excited about and would make me watch the show, and then out of nowhere I hear that Horse Mouth is in the running.
What???? No one in their right minds would listen to that voice week after week??
E! announced a new line-up of upcoming shows, and one of them is a reality show featuring Kevin Jonas and his wife Dani.
this seems like this would be the most boring television show on the face of the earth. Doesn't E! cater to a demographic slightly different than the teeny bopper Jonas Brothers Fans? Oh well, you know I'll still check out the first episode.
Real Housewives of OC:
Things are FINALLY getting good!!!
First of all, I'm searching everywhere for a picture of the dress Gretchen's crazy friend Sarah was wearing. It was like a dress version of Britney's infamous ensemble
and it was insane. In a good way. Perfect Vegas dress. I now think she is only 75% insane.
Secondly, Alexis kills me. She is the idiotic-New Jersey-Theresa of the OC.
Her comment on Jim at The Pussycat Dolls:
"Jim's not enjoying it,.... he's just being a supportive husband."
Yeah, men just HATE breasts and scantily clad women.
Oh my Lord I have no (appropriate) words for these two.
It's also frightening how she has to ask permission to leave the house for an hour.
"OUR FAMILY WILL FALL APART IF YOU AREN'T HERE."
He is a lunatic.
and THEN.... Brianna drops the BOMB, and man was it a bomb, that she got married in Vegas to an unsuspecting Vicki at dinner.
Vicki drives me insane, but man did I feel horrible for her. This was just all kinds of bad, with the "husband" sipping his whiskey and coke and just sitting there smiling/giggling. I thought fire was going to come shooting out of her eyes. Awful.
And Brianna, you are an idiot. Just saying'.
Cameron Diaz said she cried when her hair got chopped off.
Understandable. You are beautiful, but it looks hideous. Bad move.
And guess who still looks 57!?
Lilo literally looks older than my mother. I still can't get over it.
So remember ladies, when you are feeling like you are having a rough day, you look 110% better than Lilo. Cheers to that.
xoxo
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