discuss amongst ya-selves....
what. would. ryan. lochte. do.
it is the best thing that has happened to Coffee Talk since
Small Mouth ("Courtney") from Ben's season of The Bachelor.
{I still think every edition of Coffee Talk has sucked since his season ended because I don't get to discuss Small Mouth anymore}.
but I digress......
Everyone single word out of his mouth gets worse and worse. He truly is the biggest definition of the word douche.
Am I the dumbest human being in the world?
JEAHHHHHHH.
does he even know that the entire point of the show is to make fun of him?
Here are 11 quotes that I stole from The Philly Post.
if you haven't watched this show yet, this will convince you to.
1. “These are my shoes that I designed from top to the very sole to the very top to the bottom. Laces.”
2. “I’ve talked in front of … like… a lot of big business people about stuff I didn’t even know.”
3. “One of my favorite movies: What Women Want.”
4. “It’s spelled J-E-A-H. If you say it like how it’s spelled it’s ‘jee-ah.’ But, that’s boring; no one wants to hear that. So you have to really put that emphatis [sic] on that ‘J.’ And then the ‘A-H’ kinda just flows.”
5. “That’s the quickest way to my heart: Laughter.”
6. “One time I really had to go, man, and I was up in the next heat. So I got up on the blocks and I just started peeing in my Speedo. On top of the blocks. And I had my goggles on and started crying because I thought everyone behind me was looking at me and laughing. The starter said ‘Swimmers, take your marks, go.’ I took off. I don’t even know if I did the right stroke. I think that was probably the only time I’ve ever been nervous before a race.”
7. Either Lochte (or the producer who came up with it) should be punched for calling his group of friends the “Lochterage” (rhymes with entourage).
8. “One thing I won’t do: I won’t give up on love.”
9. “The key to the Lochte haircut is being fresh and looking up-to-date.”
10. “Something will pop up in my head. It could be like the weirdest thing. Like all’a sudden like I have like a jumping banana in my head. And I stop and pause. I’m like that damn jumping banana is in my head. Like, I don’t know what’s going on.”
11. “You know what? Ryan Lochte is a pretty good speechmaker.”
Still slowly catching up, but just saw the episode where Rachel Zoe is the representative for a shapewear line....
curve control?
um. that'sa little incredibly ironic.
um. that's
what dumbass thought an 80 pound woman
and shapewear should go together?
and shapewear should go together?
scenes for 50 shades of grey are apparently being shot....
with Magic Mike star Alex Pettyfer as Christian Grey.
I still really don't understand how this book could possibly be turned into a movie AT. ALL.
it truly just can't happen.
but get Ryan Gosling in there (or... yeah anyone that looks good shirtless) and I'll purchase a ticket.
LeAnn and Eddie celebrated their 2nd anniversary, and for the two of them, they did it with minimal press. I was shocked.
Happy Anniversary!! Two years of acting like we did nothing wrong when we are really awful, cheating, lying bastards... and to many more years of pretending we trust each other when in reality we know that we don't trust one another for sh*t! Cheers!!
She just had to instagram their cheesy anniversary cake..... how many more years until this is in the crapper already and he's caught with a porn star?
There is way too much crazy going on in RHOOC.
I dislike Jesus Juggs as much as the next one, but Tamra seriously went from zero to psycho in 2 seconds flat.
Lydia looked like a terrified 12 year the whole time.
I'm very excited for JJ to scream I HAD TO GO ON XANAX at her next week.
oh, and Vicki.....
great dress choice. just because you can get into it does not mean you should wear it. (can't find a photo. damn).
The divorce timeline was 7x longer than their 72 day marriage.
and I for one was praying that she would still be married to him when she had Kanye's baby.
Damn. No dice.
And seriously. Stop with these outfits.
take some notes from kate:
I cannot wait for Bling Ring to come out.
Remember when these girls had a TV show with their crazy insane mother?
The opening line of "girls, come take your adderall" just kills me.
take a minute and watch the clip below to remember just how incredible it truly was.
If you are thinking you have nothing in common
with girls gone crazy, think again.
Amanda Bynes is proving me wrong and speaking
the words of a perfectly sane human being:
how many times do you think she took this picture before she tweeted it??
"All I want is a boyfriend who wants us to grow old and get fat together."
AMEN SISTER. AMEN.
xoxo
.
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